The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death: Reflections on Revenge, Germophobia, and Laser Hair Removal

Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity–and leave readers doubled over with laughter. In The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired–resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.

Enter Laurie Notaro’s THE IDIOT GIRL AND THE FLAMING TANTRUM OF DEATH Essay Contest!

OFFICIAL RULES—NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN.
Open to legal residents of the U.S. who are 18 years of age or older as of June 30th, 2009. Contest ends June 30th, 2009.

TO ENTER:
Enter online at any time beginning at 12:00 Midnight, Eastern Daylight Savings Time (EDT), June 1, 2009 through 11:59 PM, (EDT), June 30, 2009, by emailing bpgmarketing@randomhouse.com with the subject line “Idiot Girl” and attach an essay of no more than 450 words about your funniest Idiot Girl adventure. You must include your name, age, mailing address and valid email address along with your original contest submission (English language only; 450 words or less.) Limit one entry per person. Only entries submitted electronically in accordance with these rules will be eligible for consideration. Mechanically reproduced entries not accepted. All entries become the property of Random House, Inc. (“Sponsor”) upon submission. All applicable federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Contest void wherever prohibited or restricted by law. Entries received from persons residing in geographic areas in which entry is not permissible will be disqualified.
Publisher/author is not responsible for lost/late/misdirected entries or computer malfunctions.

WINNER SELECTION:
One (1) Grand Prize Winner and three (3) first prize winners will be chosen by the Sponsor’s Marketing Department for having the best writing style and the most outrageous Idiot Girl tale. Winner will be picked from all eligible entries on or about July 31st, 2009. The decision of the judges will be final and binding in all matters relating to the Contest.

PRIZES:
One (1) Grand Prize – winner will have their essay story posted on author’s website, www.laurienotaro.com for one (1) year, AND have their name used as a character name in Laurie’s next novel published by Sponsor; each of three (3) First Prize winners will receive One (1) copy of THE IDIOT GIRL AND THE FLAMING TANTRUM OF DEATH in trade paperback format (ISBN: 9780812975741). (Approximate retail value of all prizes: $42.00.)

WHO CAN PARTICIPATE:
Open to legal residents of the U.S., who are 18 years of age or older as of June 30, 2009. Employees of Random House, Inc., (including Random House’s parent, subsidiaries, affiliates, and agencies) and immediate families and persons living in the same household of such employees are not eligible.

GENERAL CONDITIONS:
All Prize Winners must be 18 years of age or older. Noncompliance with any condition will result in disqualification and selection of an alternate Winner. Grand Prize Winner will be notified by e-mail on or about August 1, 2009 and First Prize Winners will be notified by e-mail on or about August 15th, 2009. Return of any prize notification as undeliverable, or failure of potential winners to accept a prize, respond to notification attempts or return completed releases within required timeframe may result in disqualification and an alternate winner will be selected at Sponsor’s discretion. No transfer/cash substitution of prize permitted. Sponsor reserves the right to substitute a prize of equal or greater value if, at any time following selection of the winners, any portion of the prizes become unavailable for any reason. Prizes are nontransferable and must be accepted as rewarded. Winners will be required to execute affidavits of eligibility, liability releases, warranty and indemnification releases and, except where prohibited by law, use of name or likeness releases and return them within seven (7) days of issuance. Winners will be required to execute an agreement confirming, for the benefit of Sponsor, the winner’s conveyance of copyright in the entry to Sponsor. Publisher/author reserves the right to post, remove and/or modify this contest on the Internet at any time. Publisher/author reserves the right to disqualify entries from anyone tampering with the Internet entry process. If, for any reason, the contest or any drawing is not capable of running as planned by reason of damage by computer virus, worms, bugs, tampering, unauthorized intervention, technical limitations or failures, or any other causes which, in the sole opinion of the Publisher/author, could compromise, undermine or otherwise affect the Official Rules, administration, security, fairness or proper conduct of the contest, the Publisher/author reserves the right and absolute discretion to modify these Official Rules and/or to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the contest. In the event of termination or cancellation, the Winners will be selected from all eligible entries received before termination. Publisher/author assume no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft, destruction, or unauthorized access to the site. Publisher/author is not responsible for injury or damage to any computer, other equipment, or person relating to or resulting from participation in the contest, or from downloading materials or accessing the site. Contest is subject to applicable laws and regulations in U.S. Participants release the Publisher/author, its agencies, and assigns from any liability and/or loss resulting from participation in contest or acceptance or use of any prize. By their entry, participants fully and unconditionally agree to these rules and judges decisions, which are final and binding. By acceptance of prize, Winners agree to rules and Publisher’s/author’s use of their name/likeness for commercial purposes without notification / compensation, except where prohibited by law.

TO OBTAIN THE NAMES OF THE WINNERS:
For the names of the Winners, available after September 30, 2009, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to be received by September 15, 2009 to: The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death Contest Winners, 1745 Broadway, 22nd Floor, NY, NY 10019, Attn: Rochelle Clark.

GOVERING LAW:
All disputes and questions regarding the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of any participant, and the Sponsor, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of New York, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules or provisions that would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than New York. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of these Official Rules shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision. If any such provision is determined to be invalid or otherwise unenforceable, these Official Rules shall be construed in accordance with their terms as if the invalid or unenforceable provision was not contained therein.


PROMOTION SPONSOR:
Random House, Inc. , 1745 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.

It is said that pioneers coined the orginal description of the Platte River above the Missouri River "Too thin to plow. Too thick to drink".

They must have loved following the Sweetwater River up to the edge of the South Pass crossing of the Continental Divide. It led them along past Independence Rock and Devil's Gate - - along the way. This is looking west upriver, where Wyoming highway 28 crosses the Sweetwater River. Notice the bright willow along the shoreline.


Those of you who have read my profile or know my inclinations, know that I love to read the history of an area; go see it; then read more about what I have seen when I return.

In some places, I get the feeling I can actually hear and see the historic events that have taken place as I gaze at unchanged landscapes. It is a very precious thing for me to visit places - - where "history " was made and happened.

So it is with South Pass in Wyoming. I have been here many times and learn something new each time, but I always enjoy the large scale landscape of the area and to sit and watch where so many amazing people passed and so much American history took place.

South Pass is a high, but broad wide passage across the Continental Divide. You can clearly see where pioneers walked, rode horses, pulled hand carts or steered their oxen pulled wagons.

There are cement markers at the crossing and little else. The markers list the four major "trails" or "routes" that used this passage:

Oregon Trail from 1848 - 1868 (As early as 1836 Narcissa Whitman and Eliza Spalding became the first pioneer women to cross the South Pass route).

California Trail from 1841- 1869 (Missouri to California route used heavily during the 1849 gold rush in California). Last year I visited the City of Rocks in Idaho, where those, who were successful, passed through that area on the same California Trail.

Mormon Trail from 1846 - 1857 (The route the LDS took to Salt Lake City - - many pulling hand carts - - two groups hit by winter conditions near Casper, Wyoming lost many in their party).

The Pony Express from 1860 to 1861 (It didn't last long but what a romantic notion of lone riders barreling across this wide open prairie at gallop speed - - a trail of dust behind them. They carried mail in relay from Missouri to California - - in just ten days).

I drove my four wheel drive pickup truck down near the low point of the pass, then took my camera and walked. I sat on boulders and gazed down in all directions across the sweet smelling sage. I had the whole place to myself (except for a herd of pronghorn antelope). Not another person or vehicle in sight for miles.

What a wonderful experience. I could see them all in my mind, as they passed east to west across the terrain. Each with their own dreams, their own mission, and all with much determination. A good place to visit.

OldManTravels - Road Trip May 9 -21, 2009
Washington-Idaho-Montana-Wyoming-Utah-Colorado-New Mexico-Texas
Oklahoma-Kansas-Nebraska-Wyoming-Montana-Idaho-Washington

WA: Palouse Falls - Starbuck. ID: Lolo Pass. MT: Gallatin River.
WY: Yellowstone National Park - Jackson Hole - Togwotee Pass - Wind River - Popo Agie River - Sinks Canyon - South Pass. UT: Green River & Flaming Geyser dam - Myton to Wellington [Nine Mile Canyon petroglyph] - Arches National Park [Double “O” arch hike] - Cedar Mesa [Road Canyon cliff dwelling hikes]. CO: Piedra River -Treasure Falls - .Wolf Creek Pass - Great Sand Dunes National Park - Cuchara Pass. NM: Raton to Folsom on highway 72. TX: Quail to Wellington. OK & KA: passing through & family visit. NE: North Platte River.
WY: Guernsey Oregon Trail wagon ruts - highway 270 -Devil’s Tower
MO, ID & WA: passing through on way home.

The photographs in this set were taken on a two week “road trip” through 11 Western states. My principal destinations planned for this road trip were: Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming; Nine Mile Canyon petroglyphs in Utah; Two hikes to cliff dwellings at Road Canyon in the Cedar Mesa country of Utah; Great Sand Dunes National Park in Colorado; a visit to an Aunt in Texas and with my Mother in Kansas; Oregon Trail wagon ruts near Guernsey, Wyoming and finally Devils Tower in N.E. Wyoming.

I was able to see and do all of those things and much, much more with excellent weather almost the entire trip. It was a fun and memorable road trip. I hope you all will enjoy some of the photographs I took along the way. I spent every night but one in the back of my pickup truck (screened windows, reading lights & full comfortable mattress). My old Colorado “Alp” three pound prime goose down sleeping bag came in handy on several nights, when temperatures were below freezing.

Those of you who have read my profile or know my inclinations, know that I love to read the history of an area; go see it; then read more about what I have seen when I return.

In some places, I get the feeling I can actually hear and see the historic events that have taken place as I gaze at unchanged landscapes. It is a very precious thing for me to visit places - - where "history " was made and happened.

So it is with South Pass in Wyoming. I have been here many times and learn something new each time, but I always enjoy the large scale landscape of the area and to sit and watch where so many amazing people passed and so much American history took place.

South Pass is a high, but broad wide passage across the Continental Divide. You can clearly see where pioneers walked, rode horses, pulled hand carts or steered their oxen pulled wagons.

There are cement markers at the crossing and little else. The markers list the four major "trails" or "routes" that used this passage:

Oregon Trail from 1848 - 1868 (As early as 1836 Narcissa Whitman and Eliza Spalding became the first pioneer women to cross the South Pass route).

California Trail from 1841- 1869 (Missouri to California route used heavily during the 1849 gold rush in California). Last year I visited the City of Rocks in Idaho, where those, who were successful, passed through that area on the same California Trail.

Mormon Trail from 1846 - 1857 (The route the LDS took to Salt Lake City - - many pulling hand carts - - two groups hit by winter conditions near Casper, Wyoming lost many in their party).

The Pony Express from 1860 to 1861 (It didn't last long but what a romantic notion of lone riders barreling across this wide open prairie at gallop speed - - a trail of dust behind them. They carried mail in relay from Missouri to California - - in just ten days).

I drove my four wheel drive pickup truck down near the low point of the pass, then took my camera and walked. I sat on boulders and gazed down in all directions across the sweet smelling sage. I had the whole place to myself (except for a herd of pronghorn antelope). Not another person or vehicle in sight for miles.

What a wonderful experience. I could see them all in my mind, as they passed east to west across the terrain. Each with their own dreams, their own mission, and all with much determination. A good place to visit.

OldManTravels - Road Trip May 9 -21, 2009
Washington-Idaho-Montana-Wyoming-Utah-Colorado-New Mexico-Texas
Oklahoma-Kansas-Nebraska-Wyoming-Montana-Idaho-Washington

WA: Palouse Falls - Starbuck. ID: Lolo Pass. MT: Gallatin River.
WY: Yellowstone National Park - Jackson Hole - Togwotee Pass - Wind River - Popo Agie River - Sinks Canyon - South Pass. UT: Green River & Flaming Geyser dam - Myton to Wellington [Nine Mile Canyon petroglyph] - Arches National Park [Double “O” arch hike] - Cedar Mesa [Road Canyon cliff dwelling hikes]. CO: Piedra River -Treasure Falls - .Wolf Creek Pass - Great Sand Dunes National Park - Cuchara Pass. NM: Raton to Folsom on highway 72. TX: Quail to Wellington. OK & KA: passing through & family visit. NE: North Platte River.
WY: Guernsey Oregon Trail wagon ruts - highway 270 -Devil’s Tower
MO, ID & WA: passing through on way home.

The photographs in this set were taken on a two week “road trip” through 11 Western states. My principal destinations planned for this road trip were: Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming; Nine Mile Canyon petroglyphs in Utah; Two hikes to cliff dwellings at Road Canyon in the Cedar Mesa country of Utah; Great Sand Dunes National Park in Colorado; a visit to an Aunt in Texas and with my Mother in Kansas; Oregon Trail wagon ruts near Guernsey, Wyoming and finally Devils Tower in N.E. Wyoming.

I was able to see and do all of those things and much, much more with excellent weather almost the entire trip. It was a fun and memorable road trip. I hope you all will enjoy some of the photographs I took along the way. I spent every night but one in the back of my pickup truck (screened windows, reading lights & full comfortable mattress). My old Colorado “Alp” three pound prime goose down sleeping bag came in handy on several nights, when temperatures were below freezing.

Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, The Flaming Lips' long awaited follow-up to 1999's The Soft Bulletin. Guest artist Yoshimi P-we plays with psyche-noise-experimental group the Boredoms and leads her own band OOIOO. The Yoshimi in the songs, however, is a fictional character. 11 tracks. 2002.

As these dimpled moptops from Oklahoma grow pepper-bearded and transform into wizened elder statesmen of sonic adventuring, the heartfelt candy of their loving bubblegum stretches ever longer into echoing soundscapes. If Radiohead are halfway to becoming U2, the Flaming Lips are nine-tenths of the way to pop nirvana. Hardly a song on Yoshimi isn't resonated, echoed, and reverberated--floating the listener higher until they have the ultimate bird's-eye view of what makes a great band tick. As with any album by the band, it's hard not to imagine parades and a sky filled with helium balloons while you listen to any of it--in this case, the party is enhanced brilliantly by digital filters and silver shimmering asides. The most immediate songs, like "One More Robot (3000-21)," are digital (almost trip-hop) dance numbers that lift the band out of the cornfields and into the loopy land of Bjork. Little surprise, then, that the band are already following up this majestic splash of gummy bear brilliance by recording a CD with kids' TV show host Steve from Blue's Clues. It's like Woodstock meets Snoopy! --Ian Christe